It's All Okay
by surfer4grits
Summary: As always, AlexOlivia. Alex thinks about fear and other things in her life. Sorta fluffy, I guess.
1. Default Chapter

**It's All Okay  
****Summary: **As always, Alex/Olivia. Alex thinks about fear and other things in her life. Sorta fluffy, I guess.  
**Rating: **PG  
**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

I don't think I've ever been scared in my life, up till now. Sure, I've been frightened, but it was more like a surprise-type thing. Like the time Drew Lamerly rushed me in court and told me I was going to pay. I always find myself weak in the knees when I'm up against violence. But no, I've never been so intensely…scared. Terrified. What if she doesn't want me? What if things fall apart?

Being away from her was hell. Literally. Without her, I felt like I was choking all the time. My wits faltered; I couldn't hide my feelings by taking them out on someone in court. My time spent as Alex Cabot was up- I was now Lauren Richards, the newest installment at Stanford. Don't get me wrong; I enjoyed teaching law. But not as much as putting perps away during the day and coming home to the woman that I loved every night. Finally they caught the drug lord, and I could come home. The only problem was: did I have a home any more?

I called Elliot on the flight over. Told him I was officially out of Witness Protection and was going back to New York. He sounded happy to hear from me. Not the fake kind of joy you acquire when your least favorite relative calls. He was **really** happy to talk to me. I asked him how she was doing. He said she was on the verge of losing it. Two years had taken their toll on her. However, along with this grim information, there came relief. She hadn't had anyone else in her life since _me_. I asked if she still had my apartment: she did. Telling him goodbye, I closed my cell phone and walked off the 767 that flew me into LaGuardia airport. It was great to be back.

When she first saw me, she cried. I had never seen her cry before. Always strong- for me, the victims, herself. Even when she lost me, she didn't cry. I could tell it hurt her though. I walked in and saw that nothing had changed since I left. The same abstract painting hung on the wall opposite the door; the picture of us at the Christmas party from several years ago still was on her bedside table. "I love you." I had heard those words before. From my first boyfriend and from that friends-with-benefits relationship I had with one of my sorority sisters. But previously, they hadn't meant anything to me. Now they meant everything. She closed the door, took me back to bed, and we made love until we were too exhausted to do anything except sleep.

After that, our lives went back to normal. Manhattan was glad to have me back, only this time as District Attorney. I was nervous that I wasn't going to be able to come back as strong as I was before; but then again, it wasn't the same degree of trepidation that I feel now. The heavy doors swing open, and I start my long walk down the aisle. She's waiting for me, being strong once more. I can tell she spent a lot of time on her hair. It's perfectly in place, and she's wearing a navy blue collared shirt with khakis. It was too butch even for her to wear a suit or tie. I smile at the thought of her in a tuxedo.

The priest begins to speak, and his words are a blur. I keep looking in the pews; on her side there's Cragen- the fatherly figure in her life- trying hard not to show his emotions, Elliot with Kathy and the kids, Munch and Fin, her mom, and a hell of a lot of victims she helped. On my side, there's a couple of judges, my mom and dad, my law professor, and Casey Novak. Us ADA's (both former and current) have to stick together. Suddenly, I can hear the priest. "Do you, Olivia Benson, take Alexandra Cabot to be your lawful wedded wife?"

I look into her eyes, my heart racing. They almost smile at me, and I can tell she's confident in what she's about to do. A single tear escapes and she almost whispers, "I do." And then, it's all okay. My fears are gone, just like that. You can roll the credits, because I'm going to have my fairy tale ending. She takes my hand in hers, slides the ring on, and then the priest asks me the same question. "Do you, Alexandra Cabot, take Olivia Benson to be your lawful wedded wife?" I pause briefly, slide my thumb along hers, and speak. "I do." Then I put the silver band on her finger. The priest almost looks like he's never seen this before, which is sort of odd because he marries people all the time. He appears as if he's never seen this intense a love. "You may kiss the bride." She leans in, captures my lips, then parts as we face our guests. "I present to you," he begins, and her grip on my hand tightens, "Mrs. And Mrs. Benson-Cabot."

As we leave the church and go to our reception, an emotion rushes through me I've never felt before. It's something I can't define- something that words can't begin to describe. It's a type of security, almost a promise…but I know I'll feel it for the rest of my life, because I have her and she has me. I love her. I live her.

**A/N: **This story takes place when Bush gets out of office and when same-sex marriages are allowed everywhere.


	2. My Everything

**Three years later…  
**(Olivia POV)

I grab my coat from the closet and almost trip over a small stuffed thing lying on the floor. I could have sworn I cleaned up last night and checked everywhere for forgotten toys, but I guess I missed one. Geez. "Baby, have you seen my glasses?" Her voice gets my attention instantly and I whirl around to face the most beautiful sight in the world. It wasn't but two years ago her stomach protruded about a foot and all she wanted was banana Popsicles. Now she's back to a size two, clad in nothing more than that lacy red lingerie set I bought her a few months ago, and asking me about her…what was it? Glasses? I think I'm gonna need to call in sick this morning.

"What? You look like you've just-" She can't finish her sentence because my lips are on hers. All I taste is her; all I am is her. Kissing her never loses its magic: it always feels like the very first time. We break with her trying to act professional. We've already missed more days than we should have, but both of us know we couldn't care less. "Liv, I have to work on the Andrews case today, and I can't show up late in Chambers again…" "I promise I'll be quick, babe. Just." I kiss her forehead. "An." Nose. "Hour." Bingo. I got the lips, and she's not pulling away. That is, until an ear piercing shriek comes from the kitchen. Dang it.

I watch as she rushes in the next room trying to put her robe on, with me in tow. We enter to see our little boy laughing hysterically at us from his highchair. At what, you might ask? Absolutely nothing. He's easily entertained, you see. Alex places a tender peck on top of his head, then runs to get some cereal from the cabinet. Why do they call it cereal anyway? It doesn't even closely resemble Captain Crunch. It's just some mushy white stuff. But Josh eats it. I pick him up while she heats his breakfast. "Mommy's making you something yummy. Well, yummy for you, at least." Alex rolls her eyes as she takes him from me and starts to feed him. "An hour won't be long enough, and you know it. Besides, we have to take Josh over to Kathy." Oh yeah. I forgot. Unfortunately, other parts of my body have too, and I can barely think because I want her so bad. I'll get her in bed. I just have to wait.

After she puts on some sweats, she leaves saying she's taking Josh over and then will be right back. She also wants me dressed and ready for work. Fat chance. Her meeting is scheduled for three this afternoon, and right now it's 9. We have five hours, and I (mysteriously) caught the stomach flu. It's perfect. I hurry to light some candles, and I hum as I throw a couple of rose petals on the floor. I know that most people don't consider me to be a romantic, but I am. Suddenly, I hear her keys in the door, and I hurry to get undressed. Okay, get rid of the pants-

"What are you doing?" She says it almost like an accusation, but with a hint of laughter in her voice. I'm stuck in my shirt, and I can't see a thing. Embarrassed, I try to worm my way out of the cotton, but my arms are useless. She laughs and pulls it over my head. "Your seduction would have gone perfectly, Liv, except for the part where I have to untangle you." I grin and flop her on the bed, sucking fervently on her pulse point. "I want you," I mumble into her flesh, and she moans against her better judgment. Her hands run against my bare back, stopping at the clasp of my bra to unhook it. I absentmindedly move up and nip her ear, and the result is that hitch in her breath that I love. "Olivia…" I maneuver us away from the edge of the bed and onto the center. I'm straddling her, and she indicates that she's still dressed.

I remove her shirt much more easily than I did my own, and slide her pants off. Red is a great color on her. "Find your glasses?" She giggles and I kiss her on the lips hungrily. I love her so much. And in the quiet still of morning, I show her.

* * *

Sprawled across the bed, I pick my head up to look at the clock. 2:00. Shit. I hesitantly kiss her neck- I hate waking her up when she's sleeping so peacefully. She's gorgeous when she sleeps. "Mm…what time is it?" "Two. You have to get going." Her blonde hair is fanned out on the pillow, and she smiles as she half-opens her eyes. "I love you." I feel the tears spring to my eyes and they threaten to spill, but she kisses them back. I always find myself threatened with tears when she says that so earnestly; so giving…it's like she's handing me a piece of her heart when she utters those three words. "I know you do. I love you too."

Her fingers lazily draw patterns on my hip, and occasionally I feel the cold of her wedding ring brush against my bare skin. Alex is always effortlessly stunning. Even when she was in labor with our son- hair matted and sweaty- she retained this…glow. It's hard to explain. But she never fails to be dazzling. I place a trail of kisses along her neck and collarbone, then pull her to me. "Guess what?" She's still trying to go back to sleep. An incoherent 'what' is her reply, and I continue. "You're my everything."

**A/N: **Sorry it took so long for me to post again. I'm working on a new story, and another chapter for 'Maybe'. I was away, then it was Christmas, and today one of my close friends died. Thanks for reviewing...I hope this is good. Under the circumstances, I just don't feel very creative.


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